Practise with a Tango Partner - Avoiding the Fights!

Excerpt from Dance of the Heart Interview with Gustavo Naviera

DOTH: We often have great difficulty making our private practice effective, because of the conflicts that can arise. We know this is a difficulty for other tango couples as well. How is it for the two of you?

GN: It is an important thing that took me a long time to learn: sometimes you should not worry about doing it perfectly - you should just let things happen, for whatever reason they are happening in your dance at that moment.  Often, if I wasn't practicing as well as I wanted to, I would start to get very upset with myself, and become even less able to dance well.  If you judge yourself too harshly about not doing what you intended as well as you wanted, you will simply become more tense.  This won't help you or your partner.

It is important and useful to find a way of relaxing as you do your work, especially when you are working on difficult things together

Tango Quarrels - Comment from Paul Shrivastava’s BlogSpot by Kate 30/12/2007

.....both follower and leader would do well to approach an unsuccessful bit of dance with a care for what they can do about their part. As a last resort ask for help from your partner in getting your part right... "I seem to need you to keep your chest turned toward me more. I can see i may be asking you to exaggerate it a bit, but I miss your lead without that."

Also try both to lead and follow. Creates a genuine sympathy for what you are asking of your partner. You don't have to master both roles to get an appreciation for it.

At a milonga I do all I can to figure out what the lead is trying to do, to fill in without obstructing when he loses his place, to restore his balance and complete an intended figure or simply pause till he is collected, stay light and responsive no matter the lead. But in a practica I want to be able to ask for mercy and clarity!

I also like working from a video. Having a video to practice from is the best for avoiding the "I can't see why this is not working " All correction comes from the video, not your too smart partner.

Do you differ in your agenda? It helps to agree on what is the goal of the practice and when to stop. Shall we review 3 types of cadenas we know or learn one new complex barrida? Are we here to catalogue what we do well in milonga and create a list of what we would like to add? This keeps the peace and is more productive I think.

I appreciate getting to share in choosing an agenda. In many years of classes the follower functions primarily as practice fodder for the leaders who need a lot of time to learn their part. Almost always its all about the leader. It helps to take the lead for a few tries, if he can bear following.

If you get to arguing with your partner when practicing it does mean you have a partner to practice with. And that means you are lucky!